Let’s face it, we’re all afraid of something…. aging, being laid off, getting sick, being inferior, alone, dying, something… but when you take all those fears and indulge in them, bathe in them, surround yourself with thick layers of them, you get to a point where life becomes far too scary to live. I mean TRULY live or love, which includes making decisions that are sometimes risky, sometimes wrong and other times go completely against the “norm”.
Realistically, if you do a good job at making fear based decisions, being in love becomes far too scary to actually attempt.
So much easier to just suffer through the shitty job and stay in the relationship you hate, and go home and drink at night so you don’t really have to deal with it all. May be hard to breathe at times but somehow, that feels safe.
Those walls we build though, in the shape of alcohol, body mass, arrogance, workaholicism, make you completely inaccessible to anyone, including yourself and they eliminate any chance of open hearted interaction. Easy way to avoid getting hurt though, isn’t it?
It’s not just us internalizing our fears though, we get bombarded with those messages every day. The media loves that stuff and it’s the first thing I notice when getting to the “civilized” World even at the airport – TV’s blaring “be afraid of this! Be afraid of that! And you might as well quit while you’re ahead ’cause it all sucks!” No wonder people go postal, get ulcers and resent their spouse, their job and worst of all, themselves.
But if it’s one thing I know to be true, is that that sort of intentional or unintentional “cover up” operation isn’t sustainable, in the long run it will come to the surface, it’s only a matter of time. You may be a World champion at building walls and lying to yourself or keep yourself so tightly scheduled you don’t stand a chance at ever being still and hearing the little voices within you . The universe is funny that way though, if you don’t pay attention to the messages when they’re whispers, they will become louder….and louder…. all the way to the “perfect shit storm” level which will undoubtedly make you sit down and have a long and hard talk with yourself.
Trust me, I know a lot about this one…
As my super smart friend said not long ago:
“Human beings aren’t capable of truly keeping up shells and blocking things either in or out for too long. If you make choices that don’t align with who you are or what you want, you can tell yourself you’re making the right choice for a lifetime but you will never be able to find happiness, open hearted and open minded zen. It’s not possible.
Nothing stays buried without it destroying you first inside and then outside.The soul won’t allow things to stay buried. Our ego will fight even to the death to keep control, but eventually, one by one things in life become sacrificed just to live in denial.”
If you knew you had just one more year to live, what kind of choices would you make today?
“People are never more insecure than when they become obsessed with their fears at the expense of their dreams.” – Norman Cousins